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Dearest Readers,

After only 1 week of The Heist, I have fallen ill. Please excuse the late post.

March it's the dreaded month. The month where we all sit and wait in front of our computers, refreshing every 2.7 seconds to see if a school has sent out their decisions. The candidates thought their days of writing college essays were over but in the afternoon on a Saturday, there the candidates sat, craning out an essay about New York pizza. Here are some of my favorite quotes.

"Have you ever wondered what would happen if a pizza was a Bible story? Me too! There is a clear resemblance between the story of Adam and Eve and a pepperoni pizza; cheese and pepperoni “become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24) as a timeless combo." - Isha Sharma

"When asked, “What do you hope to achieve in the future? What is your dream?” many respond with Ivy Leagues acceptances, CEO of a Fortune 500 company, and making their parents proud. To me, all that doesn’t matter. I popped out of the womb knowing that I would make it my life goal to try every pizza place in New York, compiling a sacred list of the best and the worst." - Justine Chen

"This is an informative essay on Neau Jörcc (pronounced New York), a handsome young pizza slice. Tall, thin, and absolutely dripping with oil and style, one would think he’d have the pick of the pie - any slice would be stoked to be his girl." - Danielle Jung

"New York pizzas are like a manifestation of my failures in life." - Jodi Wong

A little history lesson for you all. The Daddy of Bottle Flipping, Michael Senatore, took the stage in 2016 at Ardrey Kell High School in Charlotte, North Carolina. He had nothing in his hand but a water bottle, nothing on stage but a table and the beautiful sounds of Denzel Curry's "Ultimate" playing over the speakers. He stood there, waiting for the bass drop and when it did, the man revolutionized the game forever. He would be proud of the videos sent in by some of you, the highlights ( and lowlights ) of which can be found in the link below.

https://youtu.be/hVx1nE7IEl8

It's getting quite late and my head hurts so I'm just going to post the memes below. Please enjoy. I will write gooder tomorrow, I promise.

Happy Heisting,

The Sick Scribe