Dearest Readers,
At precisely 11:10 am, The Reaper (Don Mohidekar) gave the 24 hour warning for The Culling, copyright pending. Any candidate who is under 1100 points (I'm looking at you Kenny), will be Culled from the game.
The lottery was also announced. In a last minute effort, candidates will be picked to double their points, have them stay the same, halved and of course, one lucky candidate will get Culled from the game. For the brave souls who have decided to enter into the Lottery I wish you luck. Remember, the odds are never in your favor.
The benevolent Dons decided to flood the game with daily challenges today as a safety line for those poor individuals under 1100 to have some hope of staying in the game.
The first challenge dropped at brunch, a video was posted by Don Lui and Don Shah and candidates had to guess where on campus they were. People hauled synonym for donkey to look for the location but very few people actually got it. Roopak, we all know they're at Lynbrook. Please try harder next time. Sohum, they were not at the Cupertino library, I don't even know how you thought that was the right answer.
I want you all to close your eyes and picture this (keep them open them so you can read, just imagine it). You're a freshman who's in their second semester of their first year at high school. You've settled into the groove of things and go to sit at your usual table during lunch at the basketball courts only this time something's shockingly different. You see a flock (haha get it?) of seniors pointing their phones at the sky cawing back at every bird that makes a sound. Now open your eyes (stop imagining it). This was the result of the second daily challenge as seniors rushed out to be the first 20 to mimic the call of a bird. What a sight to behold. (clips can be found in the video below, not all are winners)
The third challenge was a real test of strength, will power and the capacity of the human body. Candidates were tasked to t-pose in the basketball courts for as long as they could. They earned 30 points for every minute that they stood. Shoutout to Daniel Huang for standing there for a whopping 38 minutes and 28 seconds (1140 points). You could play a whole game of You could almost finish two episodes of Friends in that time. You could make 19 packs of Maggi in that time. That statue in Brazil would be proud. I don't know the name but you guys know which one I'm talking about. Rohan Goel is now the epitome of not trying. The man stood there for two seconds, realized the utter loss of dignity that this challenge was bringing him and left. Smart move bud.
The fourth challenge was to go up to a complete stranger, shake hands with them for 7 seconds and pretend like you know them (through a realistic conversation). Chloe, telling a confused white boy that you saw him last year at your family reunion is not a very convincing way of pretending like you know him. Jason, telling a middle aged man that you were in his math class probably isn't the right move either. Doris, your dog is not a person and I would hope that you already know him. Megan, shaking hands with a stuffed animal doesn't count either bud. (clips will be posted in the video, not all are winners)
I have a stats test tomorrow so I'm just not going to write about the last challenge (it was licking a tootsie pop to the center). Tune in tomorrow for the first Culling as well as drama from the Lotteries.
I would also like to mention that I received this message tonight from Maxwell Wang, "hello good sir, i have gathered a grand total of 3 signatures for a petition for you to include a properly labeled and shaded distribution curve with standard deviation, for our classes's t-pose time as an public official elected by the people i trust you will do the right thing." Expect that in the Daily Cannon tomorrow.
https://youtu.be/WSnq6JmPQU8
Happy Heisting,
The Scribe
Comments